The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
