called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
