White coat. Heels.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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