Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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