Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
