i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
