whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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