But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i will never coherently bang her
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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