She's JV to your varsity
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
