Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
