I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
