the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize