Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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