You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And then my night got REAL pukey
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
