when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
