My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
