I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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