susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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