His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
