the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
