did you get engaged???
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
