I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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