I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
