Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
