She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
