May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
