I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sober January is a disaster.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
