I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
