just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are the jesus of drinking
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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