What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pants are for mortals
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
