Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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