I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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