i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
