I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
