feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
