i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
