Don't you send me to vm
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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