i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
