Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
