My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I did not marry a roomba.
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