i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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