You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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