but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
