I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
