hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
