hell yes lets make some ravioli
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
