we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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