Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
