Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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