Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
