kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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