I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
