I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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