Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
