just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
