Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
