are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
