I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
