That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
