? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
