i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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