sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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