i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
time to smoke my breakfast
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
