we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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