Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
