I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
