I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
