I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
